For those of you who didn’t see it, some crazy lady (Ines Gomez-Mont) asked got all dressed up and asked Tom if she could be “Mrs. Brady” at Super Bowl media day.

Here is Tom’s reaction…

-b

Note: I’m still working on updating my blog…sorry about the loose ends.

Who says Corporate America isn’t fun…

With two people, it took 4 hours to put together. Worth every second.

-b

A few weeks back I was driving on Market St. through the Castro with my friend Hilary. A billboards we drove by said something like, “Adult Titles The Whole Family Can Enjoy”. Somehow that sparked a conversation with us listing the funniest porno titles…her favorite being “Glad-He-Ate-Her”.

Obvious blog subject!!!

As it turns out, when you Google “best porn movie names”, one of the top 3 sites is http://www.wikiporno.org/wiki/Best_Porn_Movie_Names . Now, not only is this a list of every movie-based porno title list 400 films long, but the site is called “wikiporno”…That’s some real interneting!

Anyway, I sorted the list and edited out the ones I didn’t understand, didn’t know the movie or that made me gag….here you go:

-b

I’m Sure I missed a bunch of good ones, but here’s the list I came up with…ENJOY!

Here’s the context. I’m a big Cal (Pac 1o) fan. My friend Rommy is a Penn State (Big 10) fan. Here is our text message conversation about the BCS Championship game between Ohio State and Louisiana State :

Rommy: Big 10 football baby!

Ben: Bitch please! There are 3 teams I would pick over OSU and LSU.

Rommy: OK, we’ll see where Cal is next year, after the “restructuring”.

Ben: What does that have to do with what we were talking about?

Ben: By the way, how was the Rose Bowl this year, last year, the year before that, etc…

Rommy: The Rose Bowl is no Armed Forces bowl or whatever shit bowl you went to.

Ben: Ok Penis State playing in a shitty conference and still having a shitty year.

Rommy: 9-4 isn’t as good as 7-6 with a loss to UCLA. You are a proud fan.

Ben: Indiana, Iowa, Iona, Illinois…am I missing anyone? (Yes, I know Iona isn’t in the big 10)

Rommy: Dude, what other teams should have gone to the National Champ? #3 and #4 lost their bowls. The other ones suck. Maybe USC.

Ben: SC, Georgia, WVU. (Maybe even Kansas)

Rommy: WVU lost, didn’t they?

Ben: Beat Oklahoma big.

Rommy: And Georgia was not bigger than LSU

Ben: They are better. Same record but they didn’t get to play in the SEC championship game. (lost head to head tie breaker to Tenn, who Cal man handle, pre-Longshore injury)

Ben: Big 10 football. Giving up 10 point leads because we have good manners. (LSU 17, OSU 10)

Ben: Big 10 football. Here you have the ball…we don’t want it anymore. (interception by LSU)

Rommy: Cal football. We just suck.

Ben: Oh, this is about Cal now?

Rommy: You don’t have a leg to stand on.

Ben: And the big 10 does? Cal is 4-2 in bowl games in the last 6 years.

Ben: Maybe 5-1. (We are actually 4-1 b/c we were being penalized by the NCAA in Tedford’s 1st year)

Rommy: JoePa. More bowl wins than any other coach. (23-10-1 in 41 years…missed about two bowls a decade)

Ben: Big 10 Football. We’re just happy to be here.

Rommy: Cal football. Hugging trees is so fun.

Rommy: Cal football. We lost to Stanford. (Cal strength of schedule #23, Penn State #65 according to team rankings.com)

Ben: Big 10 Football. Stanford would be a bowl team if they played here.

Rommy: Big 10 football. Ten bowl eligible teams.

Ben: Big 10 football. WE HAVE 11 TEAMS AND ARE CALLED THE BIG 10!

Rommy: Cal Football. We finished in the bottom three of our conference.

Ben: Cal Football. Even out bad year is better than your average.

Rommy: Cal Football. We have no tradition and haven’t been to a Rose Bowl in 50 years.

Ben: Penis State Football. Too old to change our adult diapers, but since our coach sucks, why would we change coaches?

Ben: Penis State Football. At least as goos as your high school team.

Rommy: Penn State. We’ve actually gone undefeated 5 times.

Ben: Haha. Shows how good the Big 10 is. Did you play 5 quarters?

<HALF TIME>

Ben: Even Eddie George said “this is the same game as last year”.

Ben: Wow, just when I was going to give you congrats for forcing a punt… (OSU roughs the punter leading to an LSU score 33-10 now.)

Ben: Big 11 Football. We don’t mind being embarrassed on national television…go ahead…change to subject to Cal.

Rommy: Pac 10 Football. We have one team.

Ben: Big 11 Football. We have no one good.

Rommy: Big 10 Football. We are historically the greatest conference ever.

Ben: Big 11 football. We are the best just ask us…

Ben: But don’t ask the SEC of Pac 10. They always laugh and it hurts our fragile little feelings.

Ben: Congrats. You scored! Now you are only down 2 td’s. (LSU leads by 14 going into the 4th)

Rommy: Pac 10 Football. USC Recruits. Everyone else has drum circles.

Ben: Wow, I can actually see your hopes go up in smoke from my apartment (OSU fumble returned by LSU to the 20).

Ben: Big 10 Football. 3-5 in bowl games this year. 0-2 in the BCS.

Ben: Pac 10 Football. 4-2 in bowl games, with a BCS win.

Ben: But Purdue did beat Central Michigan by 3…congrats.

Rommy: We beat Florida and Texas A&M.

Ben: 4-loss Florida. 6-loss A&M

Rommy: Talk all the shit you want.

Ben: Oh look…another OSU interception.

Rommy: Nate Longshore and Desean Jackson. Most overrated players in college football.

Ben: I couldn’t name anyone on your team and my conference is so clearly better than yours its laughable.

Ben: Not to change the subject, but LSU is killing you conference champion.

Poor Rommy…speaking of not having a leg to stand on. Way to stay loyal to your team and conference no matter how bad they are.

Final score: LSU 38 vs OSU 24.

-b

P.S. This game was really boring as the rest of the BCS was. Let’s have a frickin’ playoff next year.

My friend Rory told me about a NCAA Football official, that described a personal foul call by saying, “He was giving him the business”. Here’s the clip:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAMtCCezpfU&rel=1]

When I watched this on YouTube, the clip below this showed a much older clip with a similar call. It’e even better!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNoy1yKmcRw&rel=1]

Thanks Rory,

-b

Back 2 days late…popular demand, I guess…

“Consider Yourself Sucked!” by Bill Parcells (Dallas Cowboys- NFL)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGw3soM07Yw&rel=1]

I lived in Texas and had the privilage of hearing Bill give it to the press a few times a week. It was awesome!

“I’ll Kill You” by John Chaney (Univ of Temple- NCAA Basketball)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51-4sJTf7iQ&rel=1]

The funny thing is I believe John. I really think he would kill Coach Calapari if he saw him on the street.

“Not 10 Fucking Games” by Jim Boehiem (Syracuse Univ- NCAA Basketball)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn3kPBww2w0&rel=1]

Ohhhh, someone has a potty-mouth.

“A Damn Coaching Mistake” by John L. Smith (Colorado State- NCAA Football)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvrRvUYRdD8&rel=1]

Coach, why so hard on yourself? You had no chance in the 2nd half.

“Bad Breath” by Lou Pinella (Chicago Cubs- MLB)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VO8MAnS4tM&rel=1]

More than words…

“Brokeback Mountain Game” by Phil Jackson (LA Lakers- NBA)

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/brokeback-mountain/411600886
C’mon Phil. You’re supposed to be the Zen master. Your spirit was way outta whack with that one.

“I’m Sorry” by Phil Jackson (LA Lakers-NBA)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-m0xfdID34&rel=1]

Did you just drop a “pulled out” and a “offended any cowboys, texans or horses”.

Also, even thought it’s not a coach…I’ve been asked to put this on the list

“Practice” by Alan Iverson (Philidelphia 76ers- NBA)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frsId3goYYE&rel=1]

Al, you should be a coach!

Also, keep your eye out for ESPN. They are running their list of coaching blow ups tonight or tomorrow.

Enjoy,

-b

So with college football being over (see my last blog about every BCS game being a 40 point beat down) every good football fan needs some way to spend their free time. Here are some links to the most infamous coaching rants ever:

“Playoffs?!?” by Jim Mora (Indianapolis Colts-NFL)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM&rel=1]

Most iconic soundbite ever. Everytime someone says the word “playoffs” I think of this high pitched rant.

“You Play to Win the Game” by Herman Edwards (New York Jets- NFL)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMk5sMHj58I&rel=1]

I love the step back and stare. Timing is everything in a good rant.

“Game Face” by Bob Knight (Univ of Indian- NCAA Basketball)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q30BZhJJuuk&rel=1]

He’s the master. If you think this is amusing there is a montage of Bob’s work on YouTube.

“It’s Division 1 Football” by Dan Hawkins (Univ of Colorado- NCAA Football)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S3RbRifTSk&rel=1]

I heard they made t-shirts that said “Colorado ‘It’s Division 1 Football’ Football” at CU.

“Who We Thought They Were” by Dennis Green (Arizona Cardinals- NFL)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDAq5tyfk9E&rel=1]

Congratulations, you’ve lost your job but won a Coors Light commercial.

“Stupid Ass Questions” by Hal Mcrae (Chicago Cubs- MLB)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kamDqL-AGzI&rel=1]

This is why therapists get paid.

“I’m a Man” by Mike Gundy (Okahoma State Univ- NCAA Football)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoMmbUmKN0E&rel=1]l

Maybe the best pure blowup on the list…other than Hal Mcrae

“You Know What This Is All About?” by Mark Mangino (Univ of Kansas- NCAA Football)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuCqE8tMfEs&rel=1]

Mark, coach of the year…way to say it like it is.

I couldn’t find Lou Piunella with the Reds or John Cheaney with Temple. Please let me know if you can think of any I missed.

Enjoy!

-b

Here I am, walking around on a New York City Sunday night in late December 2006. Accompanied by a good buddy/co-worker (Jarrod) and one of his pal’s from college (Peter), we are heading back from a dinner uptown. After 3 days of long night, our quorum walks past a bar that is chalked full of inebriated 20-somethings. Tired, full and mentally drained, I turn to Peter and say:

Ben: How they can party so hard at 6pm on the Sunday before Xmas.
Peter: Not sure…let’s go see.

Next thing you know, it’s 3am. Jarrod has a flight in 4 hours. Peter has work in 5 hrs and walking a straight line or talking coherently is a task that somewhat difficult for all of us. While this may seem irresponsible or rediculous, it was one of the more spontaneous and entertaining night of my year. Thinking of my previous question, Peter looks to both Jarrod and myself and coins the phase:

“I am the how”

Meaning: Sometimes you just have break convention and enjoy yourself no matter the circumstances or timing.

Thanks Peter.

-b

Ya got me…

Here is the pictures what the girls at work did to my cube. Yes, it was really hot in there.

The trouble makers:

It was a happy birthday…thanks girls.

-b