A few weeks back I was driving on Market St. through the Castro with my friend Hilary. A billboards we drove by said something like, “Adult Titles The Whole Family Can Enjoy”. Somehow that sparked a conversation with us listing the funniest porno titles…her favorite being “Glad-He-Ate-Her”.

Obvious blog subject!!!

As it turns out, when you Google “best porn movie names”, one of the top 3 sites is http://www.wikiporno.org/wiki/Best_Porn_Movie_Names . Now, not only is this a list of every movie-based porno title list 400 films long, but the site is called “wikiporno”…That’s some real interneting!

Anyway, I sorted the list and edited out the ones I didn’t understand, didn’t know the movie or that made me gag….here you go:

A Tale of Two Titties   Missionary: Impossible
A Wet Dream on Elm Street   Monster’s Balls
Add Momma To The Train   Monty’s Python and the Holey Girl
Alice in Penisland   Mortal Kumbutt
101 Fornications   Moulin Splooge
2069: A Sex odyssey   Mr. Hollands Anus
21 Hump Street   Much Ado About Fucking
28 Gays Later   Muffy The Vampire Layer
A Beautiful Grind   Mutiny on the Booty
A Bitch Called Wanda   My Bare Lady
A Clockwork Orgy   My Best Friends Wetting
A Few Hard Men   My Big Fat Greek Cock
A League Of Their Moan   My Foul Lady
A Midsummer Night’s Cream   My Three Sluts
A Penis Runs Through It   National Pornographic’s Animal Kingdom
A Rear and Present Danger   Natural Born Thrillers
Ally McFeel   Night Of The Giving Head
Almost Anus   NYDP Blew
American Booty   Object Of My Erection
American History XXX   Oh She’s Eleven
Anal-ize This   Orifice Space
Anus and Andy   Passenger 69
Anus the Menace   Pee-wee Sperming’s Big Adventure
Armaget-it-on   Penetrator 2
As Good As Head Gets   Phallus in Wonderland
Ass Ventura: Smut Detective   Pimped By An Angel
Assablanca   Playmate Of The Apes
Ate Men Out   Pleasure Island
Bang Her Sisters   Pokeahotass
Bare Witch Project   Politically Erect
Bat Dude and Throbin   Poltergash
Battlestar Orgasmica   Poop Dreams
Beaver and Buttface   Porn on the 4th of July
Beaverly Hills Cop   Privates of the Carribean
Ben-Hur Over   Pulp Friction
Between the Cheeks   Pumping Irene
Beverly Hills 9021-HO   Queer and Present Danger
Beverly Hills Cock   Rack Star
Bi-Curious George   Raider of the Lost Ass
Big Trouble in Little Vagina   Rambone
Black Cock Down   Rear And Pleasant Danger
Blast from the Pants   Rebel Without a Condom
Bone Alone   Reservoir Bitches
Bonfire Of The Panties   Riding In Boys With Cars
Booty and the Beast   Riding Miss Daisy
Bruce Allmeaty   Robin’s Wood
Buffy the Vampire Layer   RoboCock
Buttman Forever   Rocky Horny Picture Show
Caddysnatch   Romancing the Bone
Cape Rear   Romeo in Juliet
Captain Hooker and Peter Porn   Saturday Night Beaver
Charlie’s Anals   Schindler’s Fist
Children Of The Cornhole   Schlong Blade
Chinny Chinny Gang Bang   School of Hard Cocks
Choke-A-Hontas   Screw The Right Thing
City Lickers   Scrotal Recall
City Of Anals   Sex Lives of the Rich and Famous
Clittbanger   Sex Toy Story
Close Encounters of the Nude Kind   Sex Trek: The Next Penetration
Cockodile Dun-me   Sex with the City
Crimson Ride   Sexcalibur
Crouching Penis   Sexless In Seattle
Cum and Cummer   Sexorcist
Cumming to America   Shakespeare in Lust
Cunt Hardly Wait   Shavers of the Lost Ass
Dangerous Behinds   Shaving Amy
Das Butt   Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
Dawson’s Crack   Silence of the Loins
Debbie Does Deliverance   Sinderella
Deep Space 69   Single White SheMale
Desperately Spanking Susan   Six Degrees Of Penetration
Dial M for Missionary   Sleazy Rider
Die Hard-on   Sleeping Booty
Dildo Baggins: Lord of the Wangs   Snatch Me If You Can
Divine Secretions of the Vaja Sisterhood   Snow White and the Seven Inches
Doing John Malkovich   Some Like It Big
Done In 60 Seconds   South Pork
DP2: The Mighty Phucks   Sperminator
Drilling Miss Daisy   Sperms of Endearment
E3: The Extra-Testicle   Splatman
Earth Girls Are Sleazy   Spray it Forward
Easy Ride Her   Star Whores
Eating Ryan’s Privates   Star Whores: Return Of The One-Eye
Ed’s Wood   Starship Wankers
Edward Penishands   Starsky & Hump
Ejacula   Summer of 69ing
Emission Possible   Swallow Hal
Enema of the State   Swallow Man
Erectnophobia   Sweet and Sour Porked
Everybody Does Raymond   Tales from the Clit
Face Jam   Tango and Gash
Fast Times At Deep Crack High   Tea Bagger Vance
Fatal Erection   Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildoes
Feeling Forrester   The 69th Sense
Ferris Bueller Jerks Off   The Air Down There
Field Of Wet Dreams   The Bare Bitch Project
Fill Bill   The Big Sleazy
Flesh Gordon   The Blown Ranger
Florence Hump   The Cum of all Queers
Forrest Hump   The Cunt For Red October
Frankenpenis   The Da Vinci Load
Free My Willy   The Deer Humper
Free Will Humping   The Dirty Dozen Inches
Frisky Business   The Dominatrix Unloaded
Frosty the Blowman   The Empire Likes Crack
FudgePac Man   The Genital’s Daughter
Full Latex Jacket   The Hairy Bitch Project
Full Metal Jackoff   The Howard Sperm Show
G.I. Came   The Hunt for Miss October
Gangbangs Of New York   The Iron Giant Vibrator
Genital Hospital   The Italian Blow Job
Geranalmo!   The Joy Suck Club
Get Harder   The Knights Of Cumalot
Ghostbangers   The Last Anal Hero
Girls On The Wood   The Laying of the Shrew
Girlz n the Hood   The Legend in Bagger’s Pants
Glad-He-Ate Her   The Little Spermaid
Gonad the Barbarian   The Load Warrior
Good Will Humping   The Loin King
Great Sexpectations   The Long Ranger
Hairy Movie   The Lust Boat
Hairy Pooter and the Sorcerer’s Bone   The Man With the Golden Penis
Happy Getsmore   The Mask of Porno
Homo Alone   The Naked Bun
Horny Python and the Bony Tail   The Next Penetration
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed   The Object of My Erection
How to Screw a Guy in Ten Minutes   The Penetrator
Howard the Fuck   The Pourne Identity
Hump Up The Volume   The Queer Hunter
Humped Back at Notre Dame   The Replacement Drillers
I Cream on Jeannie   The Rodfather
I Know What You Did With The Plumber   The Screwman Show
In and Out in Beverly Hills   The Sex Family Robinson
In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon   The Sex Files
Inspect Her Gadget   The Sexorcist
Intercourse With a Vampire   The Shawwank Redemption
Invasion of the Booby Snatchers   The Silence Of The Tramps
Itty Bitty Gang Bang   The Sixth Inch
Jack/Off   The Slutty Professor
James Bond: Goldenshower   The Sorpornos
Jungle Beaver   The T & A Team
Kinky Business   The Temple Of Poon
Laid in Japan   The Usual Sexpects
Laid in Manhattan   The Whole Nine Inches
Lap Dances with Wolves   The Whore of the Worlds
Last Action Whore   The Wonder Rears
Lawrence of a Labia   The XXX Files
Legally Blown   There’s Something About Mary’s Vagina
Legs Wide Open   Thighs Wide Shut
Legs Wide Shut   Threesomes Company
License To Thrill   Throbbin’ Hood
Lickboxer III   Tight Club
Little Shop of Whores   Tits A Wonderful Life
Looking for Mr. Goodsex   Titty in Pink
Lord of the Cock Rings   Titty Lickers
Lost in Penetration   To Drill a Mockingbird
Lust in Space   To Live and Shave in LA
Lust of the Mohicans   Top Bum
Malcolm XXX   Twin Cheeks
Married With Hormones   Varsity Blows
Mary Bobbings   Waiting To XXXhale
Mating for Guffman   When Harry Ate Sally
Men In Black Women   White Girls Can’t Fuck
Mickey Blue Balls   Whore Of The Worlds
Mighty Dicks   Willie Wanker At The Fudge Packing Factory
Miracle on 69th Street   Womb Raider
Mission Erotica   XXX-Men
Missionary Impossible   You’ve Got Male!

-b